Reincarnated as a Sword Vol. 2 Read online

  Chapter 1:

  There’s an Idiot in Every World

  What was this…? My mind and body felt like they were floating in thin air. It felt like I was asleep. Was I dreaming?

  There was no sound. The scenery before me seemed to have a sepia filter over it—the ground, the sky, the people, everything. Not that I could make the shapes out for sure. The ones that looked like people were standing around me. It was a cloudless day and I didn’t see any plant life around me. It was an odd sight to behold.

  The sepia filter prevented me from seeing the hair colors of the three women surrounding me, but their facial features were otherworldly, as was their style of dress. They wore long robes that covered their bodies from their necks all the way down to their feet, decorated with various jewels and ornaments. As if that weren’t fantastical enough, they also wore crowns on their heads. They looked like the Shinto priests and shrine maidens I saw in my old fantasy novels. The moment felt solemn.

  They surrounded me as I lay there. They pointed at me from time to time, though I couldn’t hear their conversation. I guessed I was the subject of their discussion.

  Which raised the question: Where was I?

  I don’t think I’ve met these people before…

  They seemed too vivid to be a mere dream.

  Was I imagining them? But their faces and clothing were so detailed. I never had much of an imagination, so I doubted I could have made them up so clearly in my head.

  As I watched the three women with curiosity, one of them suddenly peeked into my face. I still couldn’t hear her. I thought of shaking my head but it wouldn’t move. Moreover, it seemed that I had lost control over my body. I raised my arm and squeezed the woman’s hand in return. My body kept moving of its own accord. It seemed to be dreaming of its past and all I could do was watch. Eventually it brought me to a pedestal where a lone sword was lying on an intricate velvet cloth.

  Where had I seen this sword before…?

  Again, the sepia filter prevented me from knowing its actual colors, but the hilt and blade seemed awfully familiar.

  Then I knew: this sword was me. At least, that’s what I thought.

  The braiding on the string attached to the hilt. The three lines running straight down the blade. The sword was a spitting image of me.

  That was, until I noticed the sword’s guard. My guard had the dashing image of a wolf. The guard on this sword had the image of four women with their eyes closed. Four wings connected each sculpture to the other. Was it some kind of four-faced angel, or were they four separate women? I couldn’t tell.

  One of the women pulled my arm to bid me to stand. She led me to the sword and made me touch it. And then—

  Bwuh!

  What was that? Was I dreaming? I, who lacked the capability of sleep?

  Let’s see. I was at the inn, lying next to Fran as she slept. I was looking at the moon when—when what? I couldn’t remember. Where did that dream come from? It was my first dream since I reincarnated here. Or maybe it was just my imagination. But then…

  I don’t get it.

  “Mm…”

  Oh, I shouldn’t be making such a ruckus. Don’t wanna wake Fran up.

  I was talking to myself again. Was it because I was human again in my dream? Did I long to be human again? The thought had never crossed my mind the entire time I’d been a sword. In fact, I had been grateful that I was a sword, especially after meeting Fran.

  I wondered why. People reincarnated as objects should probably long to return to their human bodies. Was I more adaptable than most?

  Well, no use thinking about it now. Longing to become human again would be quite a nuisance. I had Fran to take care of. She was my User. We were fighting together. That was the important thing. Besides, how was I supposed to become the strongest sword in all the land if I went back to being human? Now was not the time.

  Yeah, that’s it!

  “Hm…”

  Whoops, what was I doing? I almost woke Fran up.

  Fran?

  Fran didn’t answer.

  Phew! It was going to take a million more strikes before I became the strongest sword.

  A week had gone by since the great Goblin extermination. It was late and we were using the kitchen at the inn to cook up all the ingredients we had gathered. Materials stored in the Pocket Dimension didn’t rot, so by that same token, Fran could have hot delicious meals any time she wanted, so long as I had cooked and stored them in advance.

  We were in the kitchen since I wanted to cook in bulk for the next time we headed out. Fran was with me since an autonomous floating sword would cause quite a commotion. If we sensed anyone come close, I would immediately place my handle in Fran’s hand. A little girl swinging around a sword in a kitchen was an odd sight, but it was easier to explain than a floating sword.

  The owner of the inn had allowed us to use the kitchen after closing hours. We went to the market earlier and bought a ton of ingredients and seasonings. I might have gotten a little carried away by the hustle and bustle of the marketplace. I went with my instincts and bought anything that looked usable. I purchased jugs of sauces and big bags of spices. I also went ahead and bought several pots and pans.

  In total, I ended up spending around 100,000G. All in the name of cooking delicious food for Fran, of course. Besides, our coin pouch was filled to bursting, thanks to the Goblin raid. We got 30,000G from selling Hobgoblin horns and their equipment, as well as the Beetle Army remains. Not bad for selling trash mobs. There were also some weak magical items which turned out to fetch quite the price.

  Add to that the reward money for participating in the raid. Participants originally got a flat 30,000G, but it was increased to 40,000G because of bonuses. Fran got an extra bonus which amounted to 300,000G. Selling our materials earned us a total of a cool 400,000G. That said, we did treat the Guild to a round of drinks, which cost us 100,000G. The other adventurers thanked us the next day. They must’ve gotten respectable bonuses, too.

  We spent the last week taking on various quests to gain experience and raise our Adventurer Rank. We went to a poisonous marsh to exterminate some fish monsters, and we gathered some rare medicinal herbs. We hatched a plan to drain the swamp with the Pocket Dimension to make our fishing easier. The fish monsters were as large as sharks and hid in the vast marshlands, but they were helpless after all the water was gone. The Pocket Dimension was a useful tool, indeed. The fish monsters looked tasty but their crystals didn’t amount to much. We didn’t run into any other monsters this week, so my crystal count only went up by 7. It highlighted how special of an event the Goblin Stampede was.

  “Teacher, what’s wrong?”

  It’s nothing. Let’s get cooking.

  Right, I had to focus now.

  Dundundundun…

  “Dundun?”

  Dunununuh!

  “Huh?”

  Hello, and welcome to the Restaurant to Another World.

  “Ooh?”

  Fran didn’t seem like she understood the reference but she clapped anyway.

  For our first course we have…

  “Meat?”

  Correct. We have thirty kilograms of Rock Bison and Crash Boar mince.

  I also had some vegetables which looked like spring onions, golden chicken eggs, and a variety of spices.

  If you would knead those for me, Fran.

  “Sure.”

  Let’s just make as much as we can while we’re at it.

  “Now I can eat your cooking every day.”

  You have the Master Chef title, too, Fran. You should be pretty good at cooking by now.

  “I can’t cook what I don’t know.”

  True.

&nbs
p; Fran wanted to eat Earth cooking, after all, and I was the only one who knew the recipes. This world might have some close equivalents but they were bound to differ in the finer details.

  I proceeded to dice the spring onions with Aura Blade. I usually cleaned my cooking through boiling and Cleansing Magic. I had Poison Fang and the blood of countless monsters on my blade, which worried me. Fran had never raised any complaints so far but I wanted to stay on the safe side of cooking hygiene.

  With the spring onions diced, I then sautéed them in a frying pan.

  To your mince we’ll add the spring onions, along with the spices. Now you can mix it again.

  “Got it.”

  I stirred the remaining mixture with Telekinesis. We ended up making sixty kilograms of burger mixture. It seemed a little much, but there was no risk of it rotting once I stored it away in the Pocket Dimension.

  Now we’re going to cook the patties.

  “Uh-huh.”

  We wouldn’t be able to cook all of it in one go, even with the gigantic oven. This was going to take some time.

  Let’s move on to the next step while we wait. We’re going to cut our vegetables and toss them into a pot.

  “’Kay.”

  To the pot we’ll add water, spices, and wine.

  I used magic to add more heat to the fire and used Telekinesis to make a puree out of the vegetables. When we were done, we had a pot of demi-glace sauce. The fragrance must have been amazing; I suddenly missed my sense of smell. I then taught Fran how to make tomato sauce, consommé soup, and chicken bouillon.

  We spent the next day cooking, too. I took our freshly-killed fish monster and made various dishes out of it like stew, salt grill, and tempura. French cuisine is nice, but nothing beats traditional Japanese cooking! Not that I was able to eat it myself.

  We also caused a bit of a ruckus after draining the poison swamp. People were telling ghost stories of the disappearing marsh. I think Nell had a feeling that we had something to do with it, but she kept quiet about it. Draining an entire ecosystem might have been a step too far…

  I used the fish stock to make a Chinese-style soup and stir-fried vegetables. I had to make sure that Fran’s diet was perfectly balanced. She was still growing, after all. It had been bothering me for a while after seeing the other kids in town. Fran was comparatively thinner than most of her peers. She’d need all the food she could get.

  I had various staples prepared too, of course. I wasn’t expecting to find rice in Alessa so I was pleasantly surprised when they sold it in the marketplace. The city was located at the intersection of the North-South trade route, which was why her citizens ate both wheat and rice products. It had udon, bread, naan, and noodles, to name a few.

  Rice and naan called for one specific kind of food.

  Alright, we’re going to cook up a very special dish.

  “Special dish?”

  Fran’s eyes glowed with wonder. Don’t look at me like that, Fran. You’ll make me work extra hard.

  “What is it?”

  It’s a super, hyper, special dish! It’s called curry!

  “Curry? I’ve never heard of that before!”

  Heheh. Just you wait.

  Curry had always been one of my favorites. I couldn’t eat in my current form, and I had zero appetite to boot, but I wanted Fran to enjoy the wonderful taste of curry!

  So you crush all these spices and mix it all together.

  “So fancy.”

  Spices weren’t as valuable as gold, but they were still expensive. This made curry an upscale dish because of all the spices it used.

  This is how you make delicious curry.

  “And you stir-fry it?”

  That’s right. You need to keep the pan moving to get it evenly cooked.

  “Right.”

  An hour later, we had three industrial-sized pots filled with delicious curry.

  We started out making them in a normal-sized pot, but once Fran got a taste of it, she devoured the entire pot in no time. After that, I used all the spices we had to make a huge amount of curry to meet Fran’s demands.

  Each pot was made differently. One was sweet, one was mild, and one was spicy. I changed up the meats and vegetables I used in each pot, too. They were my finest dishes yet. If I brought these back to Japan, I could start my own restaurant.

  “I was born to eat this dish.”

  That good?

  “Thanks, Teacher.”

  I think this is the most sincere thanks you’ve ever given me.

  I had to be careful so Fran wouldn’t become a curryvore.

  The food we had cooked over the past two days would be good for about two thousand servings. Theoretically it should be enough for a year. However, Fran had an extremely fast metabolism and a voracious appetite, so we might run out of food before then. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about food for a while.

  “Anyway, I’ll have one more plate of curry.”

  You just had some.

  “Please.”

  … Oh, fine. Just one more.

  “Yeah!”

  Fran was an active girl, so one more wouldn’t hurt.

  We stopped by Garrus’s shop since we had time between jobs. As usual, jealous merchants glared at us as they circled the smithy.

  “Hey.”

  “Oh, if it isn’t the little lady and her teacher! It’s been a while! To what do I owe you the honor?”

  How’s the armor coming along?

  “Gahaha! Perfectly! It’ll knock you off your feet when you see it.”

  “Can’t wait.”

  “That all you here for?”

  Well, there was one other thing I wanted to ask you.

  I explained how I got stronger by absorbing monster crystals. Garrus was the only one other than Fran who knew I was an Intelligent Weapon. He was the only one I trusted enough to ask.

  “I see… Didn’t know you had such a feature. So you’re wondering if it’s okay to let other people know about it?”

  Yeah. What do you think?

  “I don’t think you should.”

  “Are swords like Teacher that rare?”

  “Very. Hell, I never knew magic weapons could do that.”

  The preeminent blacksmith of the land never heard of such a thing? Not even in legends or rumors?

  “I knew Teacher was amazing.”

  “A little too amazing. Being an Intelligent Weapon is shocking enough, but getting stronger by absorbing crystals… That makes me think of a Divine Sword.”

  Divine Swords. Legendary weapons which were the pinnacle of enchanted armaments. They were superweapons that were magnitudes beyond my dull blade.

  “The Divine Swords keep the nations of the world in check.”

  They’re that strong?

  “That’s right. I only know of five in existence, and each comes with its own terrible tale. First is Alpha, the first of the Divine Swords. The Mad Sword, Berserk, which destroyed an entire country. Chariot, so named after destroying thirty thousand men in a single ride. Diablos, which sealed the Demon King himself. And I already told you the tale of the Flame Sword Ignis. There have been accounts of these swords being put to use and the results are never pretty. Thousands killed in a single battle and severe destruction of the land, just to name a few.”

  These sounded less like swords and more like weapons of mass destruction. Their power was unthinkable. It only made sense that they kept the nations’ militaries in check. I was nowhere near as powerful as they were. The only category I could imagine beating them in would be the cuteness of my User.

  “I’m sure there’s a healthy dose of exaggeration in those stories. Still, it don’t change the fact that they are magnitudes stronger than other weapons. All of the countries are secretly looking for them, of course. Or rather, they’re looking for the Divine Smith who made them, not that they know where he is. We don’t even know if the Divine Smiths of old are still with us or if there are new Divine Smiths that have taken their pla
ce.”

  “Why’d they disappear?”

  “Beats me. Maybe they hated the government taking advantage of them. Some say the gods hid them away. There’s a lot of talk but we have no way of knowing for sure.”

  How do we know they’re still around?

  “Because they show up from time to time, leave some exquisite work behind, and immediately disappear again. Never mind the Divine Swords; even their enchanted gear is of extraordinary quality. They’re not divinely strong, but they’re strong enough. That’s why the nations keep their eyes peeled for Divine Swords.”

  That strong?

  “That strong. And if people heard that you might be a Divine Sword, well… They’re going to take you. By force. You might not be a Divine Sword for all we know, but they’ll grab you first and ask questions later.”

  There was a possibility that nations and factions would fight over me.

  “And if they heard anyone was walking around with a Divine Sword they might ambush or poison the poor fella. Still, they might go easy on the little lady and talk her into handing you over to them.”

  So we’re better off keeping it to ourselves.

  “Yep. I’m glad you came and talked to me about this, but be careful who you share this info with from here on out.”

  The risk of exposing my abilities were too great. We were going to have to keep quiet for the time being.

  We spent the next few days completing quest after quest.

  Not like we had anything better to do.

  “Too bad about today.”

  Nothing but bugs.

  “I didn’t break a sweat.”

  I only got seven crystals over the last ten days.

  Unfortunately, the only available quests were Gathering and Exploration quests. They didn’t give us the crystals or EXP we needed to grow.

  You’re at Level 25 now, right?

  “Yeah.”

  I don’t think you’re going to level up as fast as you have been so far.

  “Right.”

  Still, we can’t find any decent mobs. Just when you need a lot more EXP to level up.

  “Do I have to run Dungeons?”

  It’s either that or Haunts.

  I heard that Haunts had just as many strong monsters as Dungeons did. Explained the name, I guess.